hello, mabuhay! today, we’re starting a new thing on this blog called dailies, a compilation of all my random thoughts during random hours of the day; a ticket to my mind, full of voices, i must say.

welcome. here’s for

may 11, 2022 | 14:35

a few months back, i read this quote that said, “10/10 recommend learning how to shamelessly ask for what you want because you’ll be surprised at how many people are willing to simply give it to you and more.”

lately kasi, there’s this thing that i need to do and that thing involves talking to people. i’ve been dragging to do it for days.

i don’t like talking to most people.

i’m an introvert – a surprise to many, but yes, i am – and i’ve always hated scenarios of me reaching out to somebody because i need something. i don’t like asking for help, not because i’m a person of pride and ego; i just don’t like the thought of me having to disturb others.

i know.

i know i shouldn’t think that way cause whenever people come to me for help, i don’t think of them as disturbances. so why is it that i feel the opposite when it’s me who has to reach out? why do i get anxious every time, that i force myself not to open that certain app for a while so i won’t be able to see their answer? i didn’t even do anything wrong.

19:05

i did it. i did a few talking and it went easier than expected. like what joyce pring said, “just force it for five minutes.” if you feel okay after five minutes, continue. if not, stop and try again later.

ewan ko ba. i never liked confrontations even when i was younger. you know during class retreat or recollection, when the whole class would be in a big circle, then you have to say if someone bothers you or you don’t like their attitude, mga ganyan? open forum – yon, that’s the term. i don’t like those.

i don’t like being talked to on the spot. especially if it’s about something heavy and/or in front of a big crowd. hell no. i also hate those moments when someone comes up to me and says, “let’s talk later” or “i’ll tell you something later.” ???? ok about ????

it’s either you AT LEAST tell me what it’s about or don’t say that AT ALL. just talk to me when you’re ready. i don’t want to overthink anymore.