You know what I like about life? It gives you shit but it makes up to you and gives you the good type of shit after. It may come hours, days, or sometimes years after but best believe it will come. You just have to believe in it and continue doing good.

La lang. I just decided to write my thoughts before sleeping since I haven’t written in a while. I was busy shifting and to be honest, October wasn’t as good as September for me. I still haven’t fixed my phone intentionally as it still feels heavy but I feel like I’ll be fixing it soon.

I’m also grateful for everyone who has checked on me lately. For example, I always deactivate my social media accounts whenever I feel really down. I appreciate friends randomly messaging me, asking what happened, even if I had to make up a white lie and say that I’ve been drowning from engagement, wedding, or baby posts – to which is partially true.

It’s not that I’m not happy for them; I really am. I celebrate happiness with them! It’s just that sometimes, I feel like social media is too much that I have to take a break from it. I also mentioned that I was feeling down so I don’t need other things to add up to what I feel. I’ve learned to protect my peace this way. Closing doors and windows to things that don’t truly matter.

Peace isn’t a place without trouble, chaos, or hardships. Peace means being in the middle of it all and still feel mentally, physically, and emotionally centered.

If it isn’t crazy enough, the Philippines had 2020’s strongest typhoon last week. It’s my first time hearing the signal number raised to 5 and my province was on Signal #4. Fortunately, our area was high enough to not experience flood but the subdivision next to us was literally submerged in it. Lampas tao talaga ‘yung baha. Even if I’m abroad, I’m grateful for those who messaged and asked if my family is okay, knowing that the subdivision next to us is flooded like that.

2020 really is something, ‘no? We can all agree that it’s a bad year. What we can’t deny is that it’s also the year we value what is present. As much as we’re hopeful for the future – no matter how vague it is right now – this year made us realize who’s really there for us, especially in our bad times. We get to spend more time with family, we learn more about ourselves, and we get to appreciate things we have always taken for granted.

We’re almost done with it. Two months left.

You have two months left to find the good shit amidst all the bad shit that has happened this year. If you still can’t think of any, then you have two months left to make one.

Or at least five. Make it at least five.

Good night and may we all have a better month ahead.

Love, Amielle

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