Letting go of memories I don’t want to let go of

I was planning to do another Sunday Currently but realized that the only big change that has happened in the last two weeks was my phone getting broken.

I’m well aware that my phone is running low on storage for months now. Until Friday night, Oct. 16th – right before I indulge in a warm and soothing bubble bath to have my me-time – when it showed a “full storage” notification. Most apps weren’t working, so as an IT, my normal initial response is, “restart it.”

And so I did.

Trust me. I’ve worked in that field for two years and most of the time, restarting is the easiest and best solution to any of your problems. It was always working… until it didn’t. My phone was stuck in an infinite boot loop until morning! Hours turned to days and days turned into a week. It’s draining.

I tried EVERYTHING. I even had a tiny percent of hope that it’ll be okay because I got my phone out of the boot loop but now it’s just stuck in restore screen. I can’t update the OS also because there’s no space available on my phone. The only option left is to restore it. Meaning, all data will be erased and a new OS will be reinstalled. No issue. I can just restore it and use my phone again. It would even feel brand new!

Plot twist: I don’t have a backup! Two years worth of memories will be gone in a snap; that’s what hurts the most. And if I lost all of it, I’m sure I won’t be able to move on. Ever.

Two years. Gone.

It’s my mistake that I didn’t take backup of my files, I know. Please don’t come at me with that, I already know that. That’s very un-Amielle since I always, ALWAYS take backup of everything. Especially photos. I’m the type of person who easily forgets memories unless I tell myself to really remember what’s happening at that moment; so photos and videos are what I truly hold on to.

It hurts because 2019 is a very important year for me. So many memories not uploaded because I wanted to keep them only for myself. My PH vacation, my resin content, and so many other things – they’re all there. The most heartbreaking part? My first ever solo travel. Gone.

Parang… nu ba? When will 2020 stop? Do I need to be heartbroken right now?

Fortunately, I still have my previous phone working so I ended up using that. It stressed me out because that was my phone from 2016-2019 and all photos & videos are still there. It stressed me out in a way na, I have backup of those memories (even in my PC) – which most, I don’t need anymore – tapos my January 2019 to October 2020 memories, none. How do you let go of memories you didn’t expect to let go of in the first place?

So, ‘yun. My phone’s just stuck there, waiting for me to restore it. Maybe this week, but just like what I keep on telling myself lately, “Not today.”

Whenever I’m ready but certainly not today.

Love, Amielle

PS: If you’re from IG, please react 🔥 on my story. Just wanna know if I have silent readers from there. Hehe

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