Author’s Note: Reposting this more than a year after ’cause I just turned a year older last week and this post is still applicable to me.
Remember when we were younger, when we used to think that by early 20s, we would have our life all figured out? I’ll be turning 23 this year and so far, I haven’t achieved any of those. I don’t have my own house, my own car, my own business, and I’m sure won’t be getting married anytime soon.
It’s funny to think about how we used to plan our life so beautifully when we were younger and when we reached that stage in life, we realize that we’re barely close to achieving it. That there’s not much that we can do aside from just shrugging it off and accepting that it’s okay.
.. Because it is.
And I, have personally believed that my life is doing great and there’s nothing wrong with it. Just like the cliché that you always read when you come across motivational or inspirational blogs, I learned to accept that it’s okay to not be wherever I want to be right now. And wherever that place is, I am going to be there, all at my own pace.
I guess that’s what’s wrong with the generation now. Especially with social media, you cannot not compare yourself with other people’s successes in life.
You see your batchmate opening another business, your friend traveling to so many places, your ex-colleague getting promoted, your friends getting married and having a family one by one; and there you are, a smol potato trying to make ends meet with the current salary that you have from the company that you wanted to escape for so long but can’t.
Even if you tell yourself, “don’t compare,” 3000 times – it’s so hard to not compare. Trust me. I’ve been there and until now, even if I have completely accepted who I am today, there are days where I doubt myself and think of all the what-ifs that a girl like me could ever think of.
There’s this one Hindi film I’ve watched on Netflix last month called “Half-Girlfriend.” The guy protagonist, Madhav, is the son of a teacher from this small area in India; when he proposed to his mom that girls should have a place in their schools. There was a huge meeting regarding this after and one of the guy leaders said that there’s no use of sending them to school as they will “just” serve their family in the future.
Having Indian colleagues, I understood that up to this date, this still happens. And I’m not saying that all Indian families are still like this – some are completely open now – but still, it just saddens me that there are still families out there, in this modernized world, who think of their own daughters only like that. That the sole purpose of their existence is to only be a good wife to her husband and a good mother to her kids. (And take note: it’s not only in India.)
From here, we go back to what I was talking about on my previous post. Freedom.
I feel like living in the UAE made me appreciate and limited my freedom, both at the same time. It limited me, in the sense that there are lots of donts and restrictions in this country. But I understand that. I respect that.
On the other hand, it made me appreciate my freedom more after meeting so many people who have lived a completely different life than mine. Different cultures, beliefs, and a complete 360-turn of lifestyle, which will make you think that the life you are complaining about is nothing compared to the life that they are living. Not to say that your problems are invalidated – they aren’t.
I’m just saying that once you hear how limited their actions and decisions are, you will get to appreciate how free and open your life is. You will realize how you can still improve your present and your future because unlike others, you have the complete power to do it. YOU are holding your life’s own remote control. Not your friends, your family; not even your own past.
Remember when we were younger, when we used to think that by early 20s, we would have our life all figured out? Where we have clear answers to all questions about our future? What happened to that?
Nothing. Life happened to us.
We grew older – that’s what happened. We became adults who are constantly facing difficulties and taking responsibilities in our own lives. Everything gets confusing because all of a sudden, everything is changing. People change. The way you see life change. Your dreams and aspirations change. Suddenly, every little thing felt so vague, you don’t even know what’s happening anymore. Why am I still here? Why am I still working on this toxic company? Why am I still single? Why am I still stuck to where I was four or five years back? Why does it seem like everyone has moved forward and I’m still… me?
You know what? When things start to go this way, I want you to stop, breathe, and collect your thoughts for a moment. Just for a few minutes. I want you to realize that it’s okay. I want you to remind yourself that you don’t need to rush things and stress yourself by thinking that at a certain age, you should have your life all figured out. I want you to know that you’re allowed to slow down and take a break. You’re allowed to pause when everyone’s running. You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to realize that some things aren’t meant for you and you’re allowed to let them go if it’s not benefiting you good. You’re allowed to start over. Most importantly, you’re allowed to run your life as slow as you want until you find the right path for you.
And if you’re still not getting what I’m trying to tell you, four words. Just take it easy. :)
Have a great weekend and may the universe help us achieve the aspirations we have for our own selves.