I’ve seen this quote somewhere and it said, “I’ve seen men leave 5-10 year relationships, turn around and get married to a woman he’s known for 6 months and does all the things his ex always begged him to do. Word of advice, stop preaching to these men. They hear you. He’s not going to ever be the man you want him to be because you’re not the woman he wants to be with. People change for who they want.”
And it’s true.
One day, you will wake up and see how he’s doing all the things you’ve been asking since day 1 but failed to do so because he is “not that kind of person.” You will see him giving roses to another woman even on their first months; which he rarely did before even though he knows how much you love roses. You will see him taking her to nice restaurants you’ve always wanted to go, beautiful places you’ve always wanted to see, and will see him treating her how you’ve always begged him to treat you.
All of a sudden, all the years you’ve been together will feel like a training ground to you. That you were only there to teach him how he should be in a relationship, so that the next person will surely be “the one” for him. It does hurt a lot, doesn’t it?
There’s no point in wallowing about the fights you’ve been with that partner – asking him something again for the nth time – because the answer is already there. Remember the reason he always used to tell you? To “hang in there until I am able to fix myself”? He never did it because you weren’t the person he wants to do it for. No matter the years you were together.
Not that we’re saying he’s not allowed to move forward and be a better person. He is! From the core of our hearts, he really is.
It just makes you think of negative thoughts like.. Why wasn’t he able to do it for me? Why wasn’t he like that when we were together? Was I not enough for you? Am I not the person you wanted to be with in the end? Why did you let this happen to us? Why did I let you crash me like this?
It slowly makes you question your worth as a person.
But it’s okay. No need to let your thoughts kill you. Because just like your former partner, the person you are now isn’t the same person you were before. You are healing, changing, and evolving. You are becoming the best you that you can be. And eventually, you will learn to accept that things are just like that; nothing else you can do but to forgive and let go.
You gotta stop holding on to someone who has already let go of you. You can do it. I believe in you.
Featured Photo by Annie Spratt