Making yourself a priority isn’t selfish

Almost three quarters of 2019 done and I can conclude that this year really is my self-love-year. The year I am choosing myself more than anyone and anything else; the year I have learned to truly love myself in its full bloom.

It’s surreal, to be honest. If you’ve been with me through my past posts, you know that I am one of those people who truly advocates “self-love.” And it’s true. I do follow that. I have learned to love myself a long long time ago already. I’ve learned to put myself first even when I was in a relationship; I’ve learned not to base my happiness with other people; and I’ve learned that my past and the things I have done will not define who I am as a person, as long as I am willing to accept my mistakes and change for the better.

I love myself. Always have and always will. I just cannot believe that I can love myself more beyond that limit. Mas may imamahal ko pa pala ang sarili ko.

2019 is the year that I really focused on myself and my happiness more.

Friends and family know how miser I am as a person. In tagalog, kuripot. As in. I’m that friend who always has extra money because I only buy the things I need. No extra money for unnecessary stuff. I buy things only for my family and rarely for me, but for the past few months, I started spoiling myself every once in a while.

I dine in all types of restaurants – be it fine dining or casual ones – just to try different types of foods and cuisines. I buy myself cute outfits and go to beautiful places feeling myself while wearing it. I try different activities and enjoy the moment (Maroon 5 Concert, I’m talkin’ bout you!), not thinking much about the price but the experience.

In short, savings are kinda touched and not as much as before, but it’s okay. I just think that I can still earn it back and it cannot replace the experience I gained and the happiness I felt. I’d rather spend money and earn it back than have the money but waste time. Don’t we all?

Besides, I haven’t forgotten my responsibilities naman. I still balance everything properly – as much as I can. I still send money to my Mom monthly, pay bills, spend time with my Aunt & my Dad whenever he’s around, and still put some savings for myself.

Although disclaimer, I don’t earn much abroad; especially if you’re going to compare the market price of my current job with other companies. And I’m not being humble, sobrang sakto lang rin talaga for everything. I hope we remove that stigma na kapag nasa abroad, malaki ‘yung sahod. I just don’t want it to look like that because, in all honesty, pakiramdam ko underpaid ako sa trabaho ko. Hindi lang naman ako pati na rin ‘yung mga katrabaho ko. Meron din namang mapapaisip ka nalang bakit ganun kalaki ‘yung sahod pero ‘yung tipong basic 1+1, hindi pa masagot. However, it’s a different topic and I’d rather not talk about it.

Pero ‘yun nga. Just like what I said earlier, I just know how to handle money. ‘Wag n’yo lang muna ‘kong uutangan ngayon dahil naubos ipon ko because of some recent expense. Lol

Going back, s’yempre it’s not only about spending. I invest in myself, as well.

I have a solo trip this coming September somewhere in the middle of Europe and Asia; I’ll be taking this certain class I’ve been wanting to take since I was a kid, on the same month; and of course, I won’t miss out my gym membership if we’re talking about self-investments. Hahaha. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here before but, yes, I’ve been working out for more than a year now and I’ve reached my goal to make my BMI normal from underweight. Finally! (Also, if you’re following me on IG, you’ll know that I have this crushie for more than a year na rin na hindi ko malaman laman ang name. Welp, I got his name na :p)

How nice would it be if we’re all laying on our beds knowing our bank accounts are overflowing with money? Imagine being rich and happy at the same time – wow, what a dream.

All jokes aside, in a way, you don’t need money to make yourself happy. Alam n’yo ‘yan. Yes, money plays a huge role in it but I’m sure every one of us can agree that all of us have different ways of making ourselves happy. Some go outdoors, some cuddle with their pets, some just spend quality time with family and friends – and they’re happy!

Me, as long as my heart and soul is at peace, (and my tummy is full), I am genuinely happy. Walang halong biro.

Through time, I learned how to be content of what I am and what I have. I started not to care about unimportant people and things in my life, started to divert my attention on what really matters, started not to waste my time and energy on stupid little things, and.. you guys get what I’m saying.

Obviously, I started to do a lot of other things which mainly focuses on none other than – give me a drum roll – MYSELF. If there are opportunities where I can improve and get to know myself better, go. If doing something means a new experience for me to gain, go. If going somewhere means opening my eyes to another masterpiece of this beautiful world, go. As long as I am happy and I am not pulling anybody down, it’s a yes for me.

Grabe. I am so, so proud of myself. So proud of the person I have become and so proud of the person I will be.