Let me start this post by saying: I can’t believe I’m turning 21 tomorrow!! I’ve been living for two decades and a year now; younger ones are already calling me Auntie; and my younger brother is now taller than me! Wow, how time flies. I’ve been 18 for three years already.
Twenty-one years was fast. I know I’m still young to say that I’ve encountered so much already for I still have a lot of things to know and learn, but here are some of the life lessons I’ve learned through the trials, hardships, and experiences God has given me throughout my 21 years of life. (And some of my fave photos of myself, too. lol) Cheers!
1. When you’re no longer able to change a situation, you are challenged to change yourself. And in turn, by doing so, changes everything.
2. It’s you who are suffering when you keep holding on to anger or pain. Let go, learn from it, and forgive. Notice how at peace your heart is after. I’ve held grudge for years and it took me that long, too, to realize that it’s just me who’s putting up with anger and pain all throughout that period. Until one night, I realized I’m done with it. I forgave even without the other party saying sorry, I let go, and I did it all for myself. I freed my heart from all the negativity it has been carrying for years and it feels so nice to be this free.
3. Sometimes, people just drift apart. You lose friends along the way and that’s okay. Still, be grateful for the friendship you’ve made.
4. Accept that people change and that people will continuously change over time. You should know how to love a changing person. Grow with them. This is one of the most valuable lessons I have learned. A few years back, if I noticed that a person close to me has changed, I would tell him how he’s not the same person anymore and endlessly compare who he was before and who he is now. But as I what I have been saying on this post, I learned. And I realized that even I wasn’t that same girl back then.
5. There’s no easy way to getting what you truly want. You have to be willing to make certain sacrifices. Good things rarely come quick and easy so keep in mind that you need to work hard to get what it is that your heart is truly aiming for.
6. People leave because they aren’t meant to be in your life anymore. Their chapter in your life is done and they don’t need to be there in your life’s next pages.
7. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together or how happy you were in each others’ arms.. If he doesn’t want to be with you anymore, then he really doesn’t want to be with you anymore. So be it. ‘Wag pilitin kung ayaw dahil lalo lang ‘yang bibitaw.
8. What you allow is what will continue. Give as much as you can, but if someone’s taking advantage of you already, then stop. Don’t allow yourself to be used. It’s not even worth it.
9. Stop comparing other people’s success with your own success. Before, whenever I see my batchmates getting a promotion or a new job in this good company, I would feel disappointed with myself. I would always ask myself, am I not good enough like them? Why am I not succeeding in life? But then I realized.. No. I, too, am already successful. It’s just my negative mind telling me that I am not. What matters, as well, is that I am doing something to reach my dreams and it’s better than doing nothing at all.
10. Manage your money wisely so your money doesn’t manage you! I’m a thrift girl, you guys may have read of that on some of my posts. Now how do I save money? Simple. Whenever I see something that I want, I would ask myself, “Do I really need this?”, sooo many times until I’m convinced that I don’t. People usually want something they don’t need and lots of them impulse buy because it’s “on sale”, or they have the “meh, just today” attitude. Now that is the reason why some people can’t save.
(P.S.: Of course, I reward myself too every once in a while. Don’t worry.)
11. Live your life before it leaves you. Travel as much as you can. Keep on doing what you love. Tell the people you love how much you care for them; how much you appreciate them. Do not live your life based on someone’s expectations or goals for you. Live your life the way you wanted it to become. Find your passion. Find peace. Find your own calling.
12. If you feel like you’re just an option, make it easy for that someone on deciding who he or she has to be with. Remove yourself from his or her choices. Know your worth. And don’t even think that s/he’s the best for you because if s/he is, s/he won’t even have to choose. No options, no choices, no mixed signals. S/he would make you one of his/her priorities. ASAP.
13. You are a product of your past but you don’t have to be a prisoner of it. You become a prisoner when you cling to what no longer exists. Let go. This, too, took me so long to learn. I’ve been stuck in the past before and because of that, I wasn’t able to be completely happy; I wasn’t able to move on. Letting go is really hard especially if you’ve had such good memories but once you learned how to.. Girl, I swear, you’ll be letting go of everything that’s not meant to be in your life any longer.
14. Do what you love. Life is too short to waste your time on something that does not make you feel excited for tomorrow.
15. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. Self-love, guys! Acceptance! Be kind to yourself because at the end of the day, when it seems like the universe has given up on you, you have no one to turn to but yourself. You must love who you are or no one else will.
16. You don’t need toxic people in your life. Embracing their negativity only harms you at the end of the day. Move forward.
17. Make time for your family. Always. Make it a habit to talk with your mom or dad even if you have a busy schedule. Tell them you love them. I promise they would appreciate the small gesture that you made and I’m sure that it would totally make their day.
18. Real love never limits you. It doesn’t restrict you; it doesn’t try to change you; it doesn’t entitle you to anything. Real love is freedom. I know a lot of couples who limits their partners in doing such things. For example, they weren’t allowed to wear what they want; they weren’t allowed to talk to this someone even if they’ve been friends for a long time; they don’t even have their privacy because they have to know everything that they do!
They were slowly becoming toxic to his or her partner. They try to change them into something that they want; which we all know is wrong. I’ve read something before and it’s like a mantra tattooed on my mind now, and it says.. In love, we have to let our partners be themselves and not twist them into the image we want them to be. Otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.
19. You are who you spend your time with so surround yourself with the right people. Avoid people who suck the happiness out of you. As the saying goes, tell me who your friends are and I’ll tell you who you are. Make it a goal to spend more time with nice people who would support you in everything that you do, friends who would correct you whenever you did something wrong, good people who would wholeheartedly help you grow into a better you. In short, surround yourself with positivity!!
20. You can’t fix someone else; only God can do that. The only thing we can do for them is to love them unconditionally just how God loves us.
21. With God, all things are possible. If there is one consistent thing in my life right now, that would be God and my unending faith in Him. I come to Him when I am weak and I come to Him when I am strong. I will forever lift everything up to Him and let Him guide me as I journey this new year I am about to face. And by doing this, I know I am on the right path.
It was a good 21 years of existence.
I felt pain. I felt happiness. I loved and I was loved. I knew what it felt like to love someone in all ways and I knew what it felt like when a person whom I thought wouldn’t hurt me shattered my heart. I learned that some people will just make you feel happy for a short period of time, will leave whenever they feel like it, and that’s okay. I learned to train my mind and see every ending as new beginnings. I learned that I’m good at making people feel better about themselves so I always try to bring out the happiness in them. I learned to trust myself and believe in the things that I can do.
In those 21 years, I realized my worth, what I truly deserve, and with that, I learned to love myself more.
The list could go on and on but for now, I’m leaving those lessons above and hope that you could relate and learn from it. I don’t have plans for tomorrow yet aside from going to church, but I will surely blog about it if ever I head out somewhere. Thank you so much for reading my sentiments in life and I hope wherever you are, you’re happy!
Happy 21st birthday, self!! :)